Seriously.   I can’t see bugger all in this game.    I’m in a chalice dungeon, is that a ladder I see before me, or did the mimic chest from Dark Souls get bored and take another form?   I really don’t know tbh, I can’t trust...

Burned into the retina of my mind’s eye is the vivid memory of gambling my remaining blockbuster store credit on a new game I knew less about than how octopi have sex; that applies just as much today as it did when...